Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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