Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
