it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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