its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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