Where did you get a picture of my penis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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