meet me or not, i'm out of control
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
