He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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