i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
