Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
