Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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