Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
