Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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