A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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