I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize