Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
