I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's the barista slut.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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