Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
