you would pick up someone in the library
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
