Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I FOUND THE LEGS
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
