Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
