He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize