U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
