just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Even my vagina gasped.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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