i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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