But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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