If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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