i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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