remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
