this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
