Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
