As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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