just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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