Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
