oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
