A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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