U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
