We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize