It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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