This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
