i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
