I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
