i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
