so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize