hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
