He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize