Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
