Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
