Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
