Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
