She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize