I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
