White coat. Heels.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize