Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
