...so i touched it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
