im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
