At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
