**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize