It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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