we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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