god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
