It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
