Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
