My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize