areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Found your dick twin last night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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