he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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