Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize