she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
