There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
OPIZZABONMYDICK
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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