We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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