is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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