oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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