Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.

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(650): View more from California

I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.

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(303): View more from Colorado

those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.

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(631): View more from New York

I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.

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(647): View more from Ontario

he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?

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(417): View more from Missouri

I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.

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(440): View more from Ohio

im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.

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(415): View more from California

A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night

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(253): View more from Washington

I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?

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